In Islam, marriage is a relationship founded on love, mercy, and mutual respect. But what happens when these qualities are missing—particularly due to a wife's bad character or harmful behavior? Islamic teachings provide a balanced and practical approach, including permissibility of divorce in such situations.
Divorce Is Permissible Without Dislike
Renowned Hanbali scholar Ibn Qudaamah (رحمه الله) categorized divorce into different types in his classical work al-Mughni. He stated:
“The third category is permissible; which is when there is a need for divorce due to the ill-conduct of the wife, her bad marital relations, and the husband being harmed by her and not benefiting from her as expected…”
This shows that divorce is not disliked (makrooh) in such a case. When a wife displays ongoing bad manners, disrespect, or harm towards her husband, and reconciliation is not possible, divorce is a legitimate solution.
The Prophet’s Warning
The seriousness of tolerating continuous harm from a spouse is emphasized in a hadith reported by Abu Moosa (رضي الله عنه):
“There are three whose supplications are not answered: … a man who does not divorce his wife despite her bad manners.”
— [Al-Bayhaqi]
Why the Supplication Is Not Answered
Al-Munaawi, a famous scholar, explained:
“If he supplicates against her, his supplication is not answered because he is torturing himself by continuing to live with her.”
This teaches an important lesson: If a man chooses to stay in a toxic relationship without taking action, while constantly complaining or praying for change, he is partly responsible for his ongoing harm. Islam urges practical steps, not just emotional endurance.
The Balanced Approach
Islam never encourages divorce lightly. It is a last resort after sincere efforts at reconciliation. However, in the case of ongoing emotional harm, disrespect, and ill manners, divorce becomes a valid and even wise option to protect one’s peace, faith, and dignity.
Conclusion
Remaining in a harmful marriage is not a virtue in Islam. If a wife’s behavior causes continued harm and there is no sign of reform, then divorcing her is permissible and not looked down upon. Supplications alone are not enough; action guided by wisdom and Shariah is essential.