In an age where media glorifies zina and shame is lost, the concept of virginity — once a source of honor — is now mocked or ignored. Yet in Islam, virginity is a noble protection, a symbol of hayā (modesty), and a blessing for both men and women.
"And tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their private parts..."
"And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts..."
(Surah An-Nur 24:30–31)
This is not just about action — it's about intention, purity, and dignity. And virginity is part of that command.
🌿 1. What Does Islam Say About Virginity?
Though the Qur’an does not command “marry virgins,” the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ encourages it — especially for emotional bonding and long-term affection.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Marry virgins, for they are more affectionate and more fertile.”
(Ibn Majah, Hasan)
He also advised his companion Jabir (RA) about marrying a virgin for playfulness and connection (Bukhari, Muslim).
But this preference is not one-sided — women also have the right to seek chaste, virgin husbands if they desire. Chastity in both genders is equally honored.
❗ 2. The Modern Challenge: When Shame Dies
Modern media constantly promotes:
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Pre-marital relationships as normal
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Virginity loss as “freedom”
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Modesty as “oppression”
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Chastity as “boring”
Social media, drama, and films normalize zina, dating, and emotional intimacy outside marriage. Virginity is seen as a joke, and even Muslim youth are affected silently.
But Islam teaches:
"Do not approach zina..." (Surah Al-Isra 17:32)
— meaning: stay away from everything that leads to it — flirting, messaging, touching, fantasizing, and of course, fornication.
🛡️ 3. Virginity is Still Important — Don’t Be Ashamed
In Islam, virginity is not about shame — it’s about obedience, purity, and strength.
Whether you're a man or a woman:
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Guarding your virginity is a sign of faith
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It shows resistance to fitnah
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It proves fear of Allah in secret
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It makes you more peaceful and confident in marriage
“Whoever seeks chastity, Allah will help him.”
(Bukhari)
💬 4. Can You Ask About Virginity Before Marriage?
Yes — respectfully. Since virginity impacts emotional bonding, and in a world of normalized sin, it’s valid to ask.
✅ For Men and Women:
You may say during marriage talks:
“I value modesty and purity deeply. In today’s world, many fall into mistakes. May I ask — have you been able to protect your chastity before marriage?”
“I want trust and transparency. Is there anything from your past that might affect our emotional connection or purity in this relationship?”
This is not an accusation — it’s a right to ask, just as one may ask about health, prayer, or lifestyle.
⚖️ 5. But Don’t Be Harsh or Judgmental
If someone made a mistake but has truly repented, Islam commands us to forgive.
“The one who repents from sin is like one who never sinned.”
(Ibn Majah)
Don’t humiliate, expose, or shame. You have the right to know — but you must speak with respect and taqwa.
💎 6. Final Words: Honor Virginity, Even If the World Doesn't
Virginity is not outdated. It’s not oppression. It’s a gift — from Allah to those who guard themselves.
🔹 To those who kept it: stay strong, don’t be shy.
🔹 To those who lost it: repent sincerely, regain your dignity.
🔹 To those seeking marriage: value what Allah values.
“Whoever leaves something for the sake of Allah, He will replace it with something better.”
(Ahmad)
Purity is strength. Modesty is power. Virginity is a trust.
Don’t let the world make you feel weak for protecting it.
FAQ
⚠️ Why Asking About Virginity Is Necessary Today
In modern times, many couples face betrayal after marriage due to hidden pre-marital physical and emotional relationships. Virginity is not only about physical purity but also about emotional sincerity and trust. Asking respectfully about this before marriage is essential to protect yourself and build a sincere, lasting relationship. Islam encourages honesty and transparency, helping avoid painful surprises later.